Colours & choices

Let me, O let me bathe my soul in colours; let me swallow the sunset and drink the rainbow.” - Kahlil Gibran

“But the Hebrew word, the word timshel—‘Thou mayest’— that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open. That throws it right back on a man. For if ‘Thou mayest’—it is also true that ‘Thou mayest not.” - John Steinbeck, East of Eden 

One of the authors regularly visits hospitals, cardiac centres and GP surgeries for a health issue. His first first diagnosis was in a newish hospital in Cornwall. His time there was relatively easy and comfortable but it was also scary. He knew he had to return home to Glasgow after 22 years living in England to stay with his parents in a home he grew up in because that is where he  felt strongest and could hopefully recover.

All but one of his hospital and doctors appointments are in relatively modern and bright environments or about to be. However he has visited others with other patients that when he looks around he feels very lucky at his own experiences. He does have to attend one appointment centre which is a windowless basement. It is grey and dark. The staff are wonderful but the place depresses him. The waiting even with his beloved partner Lorna is not easy despite not being usually long. He also remembers the contrast with a dull grey X Ray room and the bright modern, warm and colourful Stobhill hospital.

What is it about these different places? It is the colours. Or rather than lack of them. Colours are a real gift. Children paint and draw with them. Adults stop when they see them stretched as a rainbow in the sky. Unfortunately we often make buildings for work not for people. We have a utilitarian mentality that asks what do we need to complete a task. Rather than asking a question children usually know the answer to. That question is  - how do we create offices and structures that connect with the human spirit? How do we make space that liberates and makes us feel good. These 'wellbeing spaces' usually embody colours. Colours matter. The famous image by Banksy of the Girl with the Red Balloon is such a powerful image.A girl with a red balloon and a message scrawled on a wall - There is always Hope. The atmosphere outside the girl is grey and dark and dreary. Sometimes the colours of our life may be dark and grey.We cannot always control the events and influences on our life. We can have choices about  the  colours of our health and care centres. We can ask the people who use them and their families and carers and staff what they want and what would most create centres of welcome and wellbeing. Colours are all about choices.

Choices also govern other parts of our life. The author recently made a huge decision. He  decided  to apply for a job at the local Tesco 7 minutes and 1.5 miles from his house. Why is this decision so big? For one he openly mentioned his heart condition in the interview but that is another blog. The reason is massive is that involves three things. These are clarity, courage and compassion. 

Clarity is about seeing clearly. Clarity as he has seen that he must put his health and wellbeing first. He has to chose a place where he can be well not just work. The old place was where he learnt to live with a heart condition. To see what was next needed for healthy living was what brought clarity. To see aright is to set us for right action. 

This choice to choose a place closer to home and Lorna was about courage as it meant less money. We unfortunately have services and organisations where people believe bandings and pay scales are the be all and end of it. They are sadly mistaken. There are plenty of stories of where people are on large amounts of money but the position is de-souling them. They have lost themselves and are locked in a prison called work. The author had made a tough call to have less in order to gain more. We are not saying everyone should do this. We are saying that putting our wellness first isn't without sacrifices sometimes. It took courage to do the well thing. 

The choice was also about compassion-  self compassion. We often can fail to show kindness and compassion to oneself. We can miss those acts of self care we so need to replenish and grow. It wasn't just about been closer to home but to find a store where he could feel at home. A place where he could live and grow with the team.  Our author made that act of self care. He summed it all by saying, 'So the  decision was made to apply for this job for work life balance, I enjoy my job, I want to work, I want to enjoy it but that will only be possible with clean start not just in any store but one I know I will enjoy. This was planned out by myself and  Lorna we just didn't realise opportunity would arise so soon.'  He has started  at the new store and its going well. 

Dr Jim Simkin the Gestalt therapist spoke of how awareness gives us choices. Without awareness our choices are often either non existent or limited. Awareness is a door leading to possibility. This blog is all about colours and choices. We can  paint rainbows with our choices. We can utter that sacred word 'timshel' - Thou Mayest. There is a desperate need for us to spread colours wherever we can and choose what is good, true and beautiful for our happiness.  Colours and choices can also help spread hope. Hope is a simple word and a beautiful thing. We all need its presence and gentle voice in our days. We can't control many things in life but we do hold in our hands choices which can make life very different for us and our loved ones.

John Kinnaird

John Walsh